Since Kula Cloths pretty much have the market cornered on reusable and stylish pee rags, this post will focus on natural toilet paper options for going #2.

I first considered natural TP after reading Ultralight Backpackin’ Tips by Mike Clelland. He wrote an entire chapter on the subject (called “Pooping in the Wilderness”) that both opened my eyes and seriously tickled my funny bone. Obviously he is coming at the topic from the vantage point of saving weight, but it’s also kind of nice to imagine your TP decomposing back into the land from whence it came and not causing an eyesore if some little critter decides to dig it up. (That’s me giving a lot of benefit of doubt to the owners of those poopy piles of tissues I see in the woods.) So without further adoo…

#1 Snow

Clelland calls snow “the crème de la crème of natural butt wiping” and I couldn’t agree more. It’s abundant, has just the right amount of grittiness for that extra cleaning power, and literally disappears when you’re done. Not to mention that wiping your butt with snow is 100% guaranteed to remind you that you’re alive 100% of the time. Luckily, summer backpacking trips in the Pacific Northwest often contain soft patches of snow next to dry ground for doing a proper burial. (Pro tip: pull up a rock for an instant cat hole, but make sure to fill in the hole with dirt for proper decomposition to take place.)

#2 Thimbleberry Leaves

Related to raspberries, the leaves of this bush are broad and have a downy, absorbent softness on the underside. They are commonly found in sunny, damp areas at lower elevation and might have white flowers or bright red, flat berries (which are delicious, by the way). Devil’s club leaves can look similar but you’ll quickly notice the difference when you see thorns all over the leaves and stalk, which you won’t want anywhere near your butt.

#3 Old Man’s Beard

This prolific lichen can be found all over the floor of most PNW forests. It’s super absorbent but not quite as comfy on the bum, especially since it tends to contain random twigs. It’s the best option for swamp butt, though, and could probably be used as a liner in a pinch. It’s also the easiest to stash for later use.

#4 Douglas Fir Pine Cones

When you hear pine cone you think rough and pokey, but these cones are quite soft and often large enough to use effectively as TP (unidirectionally). You’ll want to find one that is as large and as closed-up as possible. Seriously, try rubbing one against your (face) cheek next time you’re out and you’ll be surprised how soft they can be.

#5 Everything else

Sorry this list isn’t longer, but I recently discovered that my 3rd favorite natural toilet paper is extremely poisonous and can probably be absorbed through the skin. So I’m going to play it safe from here and encourage everyone to do their own research. But for what it’s worth, I’ve tried assorted leaves that I sometimes incorrectly believed were harmless, grass, moss, smooth sticks, and smooth rocks with various levels of success.

By the way, the plant I learned NOT to use as TP is Veratrum viride aka Corn Lily. When ingested it can apparently cause nausea, vomiting, low blood pressure, and even death.